His world...his deeds...his weeds...

He who comprehends not
what his neighbour speaks;
what world will he conquer,
but for the world of solitude!

He who cares not a wee,
for what his co-breathers seek,
what issues will he solve,
or initiate a world idyllic!

He who gathers not the tongue
of honesty, but prefers facts farce,
what truth will he announce
to the world that thinks his way!

He who quits the flower
that had but one a thorn,
what bunch will he make-when
thorns are all he's left with!

He who lives in a world-his own
can better no other world,before
rooting the weeds that in his world have grown.
weeds unwanted. or weeds he had sown!

MAD ARE WE??? MAD??? AH!!OUI!! MAD!! OUR VIES!! MAD AVIS!!

(Mad! ah! yes!) (Mad our lives!!) (Mad opinion)
I don’t like this lady! Not even like I hate her! As in, I am so sure she has her own strong points, despite the fact that she really does not let even one of them surface. No no …may be I am the one who is unable to see them; or may be I am so busy noticing her faults that I fail to collect them. But, on the other hand, in all the months that I have known her I can’t seem to even spot a single trace of something close to being laudable. I know this is pure exaggeration, but I can’t get myself to be good to her anymore. So why don’t I regard her as a nice lady?? I don’t know man! May be because of all these weird stuff she does??
OK. Do women in their mid-thirties and young girls in their late teens-early twenties share a common topic of discussion?? Usually, may be. But sometimes, no! Arre…so face it! Here we are, two young girls(yd n i) talking about our female acquaintances and their stupid guys and topics like blogging and our observations about the other classmates and blah blah blah…and this *mad?ah!oui!* lady suddenly gets up from her chair with a rather vexed face and leaves us both telling us that we were two inane youngsters monopolizing the conversation and discussing topics that didn’t interest her!! I mean HELLO!!!! How about choosing your “gang” right? Or how about telling sommmmething interesting once-in-a-while so we know you can speak? or best…how about excusing yourself without having to be jealous of us, cause we can discuss stuff you are no longer entitled to discuss about(or so its said!)…Gawd! I felt like yelling back at her, “Oh gee! You know what? I am gonna go home at once and ask my parents to get me married before our next class…so I can sit here with you, wait back after class and discuss other “interesting” and “mature” stuff with you!”. Or something like… “Oh yeah?? If you felt so left out, why don’t you get yourself to participate? Like we were holding a mike and it was our moral responsibility to royally invite you to honour us with a word or two!!!”…or even better, “Please leave then!! And for Christ’s sakes don’t expect us to invite you into a conversation! Especially if you are looking for one that involves husband-whine-time or something like that!” Its like, I feel like an imbecile myself, with many friends of mine! And in their company when I can’t add or attack, I at least react with interest! but this soul cannot stand annny topic man! …An added icing is that ever so annoying unprintable (if that is an accepted word!) noise she makes (with her Cancerian mouth!) that soooo efficiently serves its purpose of expressing her distaste or disgust about the topic dealt with then! Babes!!(‘Babe’akka rather!)…get a life!
And this woman actually has the guts to ask me if am gonna continue with my studies in the future! Yaa???…I have taken a year off to settle for the best choice and I have myriad reasons that forced me to set this year aside, but how could she actually ask ME if I were gonna study any further?? I felt like just tilting the hot cuppa coffee that was in my hand on to her dim white kurta and walk away like nothing ever happened. But my mom wouldn’t approve of such revenge…so I had to conclude the absurdity with one dirty look that I graced her with! Arre! This is worse than the time when she reminded me about the 5 bucks that I owed her !Galthi se ek bar I shared an auto with her, and the meter read some 30 rupees or something. She stuffed a 20 ka note into my hand and said she had no change! I even offered to give her change then and there (sixth sense, may be!), but she said she was in a hurry and she just left! Not like I had forgotten about it the next day in class. I was actually asking a friend of mine to exchange two five ke coins with a ten ka note! Before even I could dig my wallet she comes up to me and goes, “Divya? Have you got the five rupees that was due from yesterday??”. I have seen strange creatures in college and all that, but this piece here looked to me like she needed serious help da! I am not dealing with the amount I owed her, or she might have genuinely wanted the 5 bucks, but it is just that I was seriously shocked with the kind of authoritative tone she used then! These are times when I consider the option of clinical psychology to major in!
Retrospection sure makes you want to await another similar incident, so you can get back at them properly! OK! Fine…she is not all that bad! But then yes, just like I kind of get the hint when someone doesn’t really appreciate my presence or is not very fond of my attitude or company, I quit the place; I hope it was that way with all of us! I don’t gel with a certain kind of people. I gel best with a certain kind of breed! And I do not ever want to associate myself with the other kinds of creatures! So? It is for my good and for the other’s comfort that I refrain from embarrassing myself and make the other person feel awkward!
But this lady is like really hopeless! She is so problematically far yet so hauntingly present that I have to plead myself to make peace with her presence every time! I have not one clue of how I am gonna resolve this pain in my neck! I guess comme toujours, I am gonna try and crawl my way up the hill of discovering her better points (no…no pessimism any more, therefore I wont say, “if any”!!) I will make it a point that every time she stays back after class, if I am there then ( I won’t say god forbid also!), I will take care to see that I don’t get pissed, I might in fact try( real real hard) to pullllll her into a conversation! Yea…I’m telling it now, but I donno what my haal is gonna be then! All the same, I have learnt a grand lesson from this *mad?are we?* lady! And that lesson shall come handy when I get to my thirties (ohhh myyy goooodd!!!nahiiiiiiiii!).
Whatever! Somebody just go tell her that it is not very often that I make a kill-list and when I do, it is rather justifiable! I wonder on how many peoples kill-list I’ll find my name! I’m so sure there are many thirsting my end! Ha-ha! I hope all those dodos get to meet my game (our malignant cancer’ian) so they’ll know how less worthy I am of their distaste for me!

THE OPEN STEALTH

Now, Its beyond repair…
Destroyed it all with my bare hands…
But even now I hardly care;
My psyche-none understands.

I built the society,
And now, it is the thing I dread.
I worship it like my deity,
I must please it till I’m dead.

I invented money,
Now it identifies me.
I’d kill no matter how many,
To get as rich as I can be.

One end I’m stinking rich,
Decked in diamonds head to toe.
The other end-life’s the ditch,
No smiles or joys do I know.

I tend to overdo,
The act of earning wealth.
Anybody for it I’ll woo,
You know it’s an open stealth!

Why do u think I’ll bother???
When you have nothing to wear…
When you have no food to gather,
When you have no place to stay (in).

Why should I be sharing???
When my dozen maids are to be paid…
When my laundry bills are soaring…
When my life’s just being made…

It’s not that I won’t help you…
But now is just not the time.
But when with all my wants I’m through,
I’ll sure lend you a dime.

I’ll make you well, just wait & see;
But I can’t let you grow.
Coz if you do any better than me,
I’ll have no where to go.

Oh god!I gotta wait another year now!

Perfect???Shut up!Miles more than perfect!It was kind of more like an interesting revelation than an "expensive" pleasure this year!
Well...First things first...The count...Whoaa!!!The count has increased pretty well this year man!30 true wishes!I actually have earnt myself whole bunch of priceless amis/amies...Nice...But sad that all of `em have to put up with me!
Ravi calls 10 minz before time and expresses his surprise at the fact that the cell was not engaged!yea rite!Thats wat i call a ShaaNa mumbaikar!
Shaista calls exxxxxactly at 12!glad to hear her ever so chirpy voice!then comes Tanvi's call...whining about not being the first one to wish me(like that counts!)...
kahaani mein twisht!the door bell rings jus then!once-twice-thrice...i rush to get the door sweating head to toe in fear!"who could it be at this time??"...mom pareshaan..dad full charged to fight the war...door creaks open...i slowwwly look out...i find this bunch of lovely, colourful flowers at the door...turn to put them on the table...vids n sham...shout out happy birthday!!!!with (my) aquarium( about which i have no clue;-))...with a birthday cake...
that was cute indeed...man!arranged the aquarium...spoke to my fish...went to bed at around 1.30 or something...yippee!frnch class at 7!comme toujours!had quality fun!stayed back for a nice amount of time...spreadin the joy of eating (apparently yummm) chocolates!Areey!people just don't buy it man!please ...for god's sakes chocolates aaaaaaare aphrodisiacs!whatever!!
Got home..went to ann's...english dept par hamlaa...all are happy.I am happy!Sollllid 1 - 1 1/2 hrs tortured them with our(Shaista and I) matchless bitchings about contemporary students...my baseless hatred for "girls only" institutions,and many other exhausting topics.Then came home,again.
Lunched.This and that stuff took another easy hour or so.By 4.30 left to "cafe coffee day"...I hate that place.I wish i knew in words how to explain my hatred towards that "hip hang out spot"...but all the same .had to give in to friends' majboori and had to go.Tanvi,Niharika,Shaista,Divya...Almost perfect.Just Karina missing!anyway...she'll have her share when she is here in september!So..had fun there mainly because they played allll my favourite english songs!Man.Not many actually know all the songs that i like.So it had to be a co-incidence!dido-white flag.kevin lyttle-turn me on.norah jones-sunrise.bryan adams,sporty spice(mel.c??)-baby when you're gone.the wonders-you...and many more.wont bug you.it was like simply great to actually be listening to your most loved songs one after another!Added treat was the yummm brownies that niharika n tanvi(my friends cum french-tuition students!) got for me from labonel!heavenly!but i cudnt relish more than one, for people around couldn't keep their hands off the dabba!
Then went back home, yet again.Freashened up.Left to allianc at about 6.15 or so.Reached at 7.30 or so because of dabba traffic and improper road readings(by me,sadly!).Anyways, reached in time to prevent yd from yelling at me!Pretty good concert it was!I mean for amateur singer they did quite well!Enfin...we left at about 8.30.Tanvi,niharika n I went crazy in the car!Making up wierd jokes, getting really gross,(now that i am 18!) and basically "driving" bahadur( niharika's chauffer) nuts!Karina calls up then!narrated all what had happened until then to her!
Finally home!After a long long day!What did i do?Nothing concrete actually!But lots.I have learnt lots man!I mean,can't really tell what it is, but then i just feel a lot lot more...comment dire???..a lot more...human!may be im beginning to live.again.well..all that aside...yesterday was surely a day i will never ever ever forget.for all the revelations it has gifted me with.Ya!i know i shouldn't leave it at that coz it wudn't make that much sense to you, but then thats the whole point of self discovery,right?
Man!I cant wait for my next birthday!for all the attention and love that i get to bask in!

IT’S HERE!!!!!IT’S HERE!!!!!!

Oh Gawd!! It’s always this way…I have been ballistic about my birthday for over a month now, pestering my “near and dear” ones, reminding them constantly about the number of days left, hammering them with my previous birthday bash experiences, literally dragging them to tears in the process…But most of my “kid” friends are so…I mean, they are worse. They don’t spare strangers also man! They suddenly flash that extra happy smile in bus stops at strangers giving them all kinds of doubts! They have pangs of “oh-my-god! It’s-my birthday-in-three-months”!!! or even worse, they start going hyper about a fellow “gang”ster’s birthday “much” in advance!
So, I kinda know how “sick” the feeling is, when a “kid” friend of yours is all worked up about throwing a bash! Last year- My “day” stunk! I mean it literally “STUNK”!!!The entire day went in the hope of something new and nice to happen…And yes,it remained a hope). Same old “many-many-happy-returns-of-the-day” (I almost dozed off every time a creature wished me that way!).Same old “so?? What plans in the evening??”…or even worse, “Treat kab hai??”…I mean how about a genuine wish and then expecting a “treat”??
Call me funny, call me weird, but for the past couple of years I have been keeping a track of how many people ‘actually’ wish a “happy” birthday to be in store for me. I mean eyes speak baap! You just can’t help but notice, how bland and sick some “wishes” are! …and that is so sad! Last year the count was -19 fellow students’ eyes spoke to me, about their genuine wish for a “happy” birthday! From more than 135 creatures in class! And outside class…most of them were true, Coz that leaves us with family and the other sidekicks, and their wishes mean more than the world to me!
All my “yippees” and “yahoos” and “Oh-my-gawd” days are over now, for this year. Coz its here! Its tomorrow! And I am so pareshaan! Man!! I don’t get even those 135 minus 19 fake wishes this year! And the rest tho waise bhi are always there! But I guess the few real real real true “happy birthday divya” s are much much much more valuable than the “wish you many more happy returns” (yawn!) …
But guess what! All my people are dimwits. They don’t believe in the existence of a word called “surprise”.(Huh?? What’s that??)Yeah! Really…I mean, Shaista has very religiously told me what is inside the very meticulously packed golden gift wrapper! Vidhya as usual will be ( I hope) giving me something from my tacit wish list! She and Sham( my cousin-kshamatha) I ( don’t) hear are planning on gifting me an aquarium…Surprise!! Man! How much more cuter can people get ya?? Hmm…so like that! Well…will have another post as to how my “day” this year went! Until then…if it’s some one else’s birthday around you, try reflecting some genuine wishes in your eyes! Or don’t wish at all! Coz that is how much it means to me at least!
yipppeeeeeeeee!!!!!!yeaaaaaa!!!!ohhh gawwwwwdddd!!!!!

SISTER ACT –TIMELESS

Ever wondered what it is that most ‘young’ girls have in common with their male counter parts??....well..ahem…what I was getting to was the typical “have –fun-no-matter-what” kinda attitude!
And I guess my sister (older-3 years) is like the epitome of this kinda mindset! Man her versatility runs miles, from remixing lovely songs making then all the more “enjoyable”- to associating every human emotion to a musical piece; from commenting on every human she spots anywhere- to sporting the wildest (trust me ppl-WILDESSSST) facial expressions ever; from changing her laughter tune every week- to producing music from a sneeze or a cough!!!; from mouthing the mostest bizarrest expletives- to playing the perfect victim before even I decide how to hit her!;from being an excellent biker( hyderabadi traffic mein bhi she is zimbly zupper!)- to being the world’s noisiest and clumsiest typist; from playing the protective older sista- to the shaaNi 21 yr old!; from associating my laughter to the word “concoction”( even I wonder why!)- to having a dude to check out, on every floor of our maha apartment (and in the neighbouring ones as well!); from coming up with really really bitchy comments- to her prompt, truncated chants in front of god; from her invincible perfection at instantly irritating me- to her talent at searching for things that are right under her nose!; from her unforgivable art of ruining my clothes (most times, at least)- to her mélange of different
Languages to speak exactly what it is that is on her mind!.....
But what beats it all, is her angreji!man !i mean the angreji that she uses to “communicate” with me! Will help you out further…read on..

• See…no matter how many cuss words we use,it all comes in a very decent package .that is even if we make acronyms in English for cussing in telugu!
for example:
Nee P.K.( wow! sounds much better!)
Neeeeee……( and withdraw in submission!)
Nee B yEn kaadhu??(Ahem…sorry YD!)

• Then comes our description of “types” of things…
for example:
(for exciting or interesting things)
Katti types
Mast types
Sakkath types(a kannada word in the like sense)
Bomb types
(for disgusting or pissing things)
Nee yabba types
Dokku types
Dabba types
Naa bon*** types
Sutti type
Was(h)te types
• And then few of her most commonly used sentences that never fail to amuse me:
“Put me some curry no!!!”
“Mast it’ll be no??”
“Look at that girl, girl!!!”
“That much scene is not there lEmmaa!!!!”
“Off off the fan please!”
“Abba chaa!!I didn’t know lEmmaa!!!”
“Why girl you’ll tell like that??!!??”
(with such a disappointed and injured tone)
“You can do like thissaaaaa??”
( and this one comes every time she discovers her potential in making yet another hilllarious expression on her Capricorn face!)

• The best one was her instant tamil accent that popped up the other day!It was like this:
“ Aaageeee riiiight meeeein zarrra yek minit rokiyee Moin!”
( She was actually trying to direct our driver (who hasn’t been sacked out in 2months!!record time..the others don’t last a week !thanks to mom!) to stop in front of some store!And that too in such a thick Tamilian accent, it was so painfully hilarious that even our usually poker-faced chauffer had to smile ear-to-ear!
• And this time when she had to enlighten me about this new factoid about Hyderabad that she had learnt (from god-knows-where!).She went:
“You know- during the British rule- the whole of secunderabad- and mehdipatnam- was basically used- for military purposes only.”
(The whole fun was in her tone man!!!She reminded me so much of the funny funny news reader on Sun T.V., called Nirmala, who is popular for her incredibly weird way of saying “vannakkum”!)

But what makes her the “single piece” in the whole wide world is her unbeatable skill at classifying ‘guys’.We can be such bitches at times!But that’s the whole fun part of our life, for heavens sakes!So everytime we are out on out dokku bandi(our loyal kinetic Honda for 6 years!), royally ghooming around the hyderabadi streets, “checking out” people and places, this is how it goes. The two innocent partners in crime actually classify guys this way.A guy is:
EITHER OR
Dude Dud
Hunk Junk
Ooooh!! Booo!!
Yumm! Yuck!
Yo! Wow! No!

Our bitching is endless!!But the rest are restricted only to the two of us! So…If you are already wondering what kind of insane damsels we are! Brace up! There is more to this pandemonium! Mon, daddu and the two freakstars! Presenting to you the “Mental Family”!!Seriously, coz at times our house is nothing (really in no way) less than a super specialty asylum! One loony bin! Dad’s discourses on how disgracefully undisciplined his invaluable girls are;Mom’s unshakable interest in telling everything, from what happened at exactly 7.13 that morning to how the neighbour aunty ignored her concerned smile, to her sister(my ammi); vids’ above mentioned terrible (ab)normalcy; all the stupidly amusing things I have to say every time pakkinti Madhuri and Alekhya (two Scorpio sisters aged 5 & 3) come home to ask for some thinthapandhu or rondhu- moodhu tamaathaalu (yep! tomatoes it is!)
Swetha was home for a night stay some time back and she knows now what exactly we mean when we call ourselves the “mental family”! And that too when we had to rub off our otherwise “normal” behaviour patterns to adopt a rather refined insanity!!! Man! But I guess it is this shambolic discipline of life that keeps us going!hmm…while vids is all set to poof off to the U.S. for “further studies”, the rest of us will, in no way, let that affect our insanity!But im wondering if our crazy gaadi will pull on without its enjin!I hope she makes our Khandaan proud by spreading the seeds of mental disorder wherever she goes!Amen!

My Plea to “The Oblivious”…

Stringed with a knot in my throat,
And with a bed of tears mute,
You sneak into my clustered mind,
With a luminous aura that makes me blind.

Caught am I in your dealings so,
I just can’t seem to go with the flow.
As the clouds of your thoughts bloom
I’m roped to you, and it makes me fume.

It’s the crossing time I await;
For I can offer no better bait,
But for the discomfiting love I’d rain,
In capricious joys and in comforting pains.

I wish you could stoop down to me,
To take a dekko and for yourself see,
That I could perhaps live up to you;
(En plus) a flower’s ‘complete’ with a tiny drop of dew!

What to do...I am that way!(and i aint changin it!)

(coming clean with my best kept secret!)

I'm not very complex.Atleast i know so!There's just one key to help you with my innermost intentions.My best kept secrets, i mean.And that is...I am at my bitterest self, with the one's i love more than words can ever explain!!
I guess I'm postin this only because I know that "most" people I really live for, don't access my blog!And among the few who do check it out, there are those that already know this kutty truth!
I taunt when I am not understood; I speak really stinging words when i feel betrayed;I shout in the fear of being judged on my behaviour then;well...shouts are only for and with mom.But the most common method I adopt to hide my emotions, is resorting to taunts!WHY??I have no clue myself!May be because I expect the "taunted" to know me well enough to see the love behind the bitter words!
And on the other hand, I am very normal with those that have least value in my life!!I never feel insecure with them around coz I know there is no profound intentions there!Its how they say-"hi..bye frends!"...I never fumble or stutter.I am at my best self with the least important people ironically!
My brain begins to malfunction only when I am around the people I don't wanna lose!I end up thinking about what to say,how to put it,when to exactly tell it to them and all that, that I most often end up making a big fool of myself!
Another bizzzzzare vice of mine is that with the people that are ineffably dear to me, sarcasm is the only service i tend to offer(actually borrowed it from a statement tee!).But seriously, I try so hard not to let my unalloyed love for them surface,that i resort to sarcastic,biting comments!I am extremely curt at times.Well...to cut it short,I'm a total bitch with the one's I'd die for!
And boy!You don't even wanna know how maladroit I can get, when I'm around the ones I'd loved to be loved by(if you know what I mean!)I am a perfect paradigm of malpropism!I try really really hard not to fumble or make any silly mistakes that I end up doing exxxxactly that!I forget important details;I comment on the most piffling things;I laugh at the wrong time( not coz i don't listen to them,but perhaps because the structure of the sentence amused me??);I don not laugh when I am supposed to( just a slight smirk with a raised eyebrow mostly!);I have the dumbbbest of doubts;I come up with really really nasty and sick "jokes";I try and be as impersonal as I can get;I behave as rotten as I can possibly be;Basically I try my best to attract hatred and disgust!
I have no clue as to why it should be this way!But what I am very sure of is that I have allllways been successful at repelling the "most wanted"!
I donno how many of the ones that are supposed to read this are reading it!But the fact is that I don't want to change this vice of mine coz I believe that as long as the profundity of love remains,the means of expression and its presentation cannot change lots!!(or so i hope!)

I just realized…. “I’VE STOPPED LIVING”

What life is this I’m leading?
With no place for fun and adventure,
No time for anything but for competing,
No room for even a sweet gesture.

Not until long ago was I a Winner,
Cheering my little world in mirth.
Suddenly, now, my vivacity has lost its shimmer,
For jollity, I presume, there’s a dearth.

I no longer play badminton my way,
Where there was no chance for me to lose.
I no longer can spend the entire day,
Chasing in the pond that black goose!

I no longer dictate rules to my gang,
When there’s a mystery to solve.
I no longer laugh at my mom’s pang,
As I realize the facts around which lives revolve.

I no longer hide after whacking the boy next door,
When his mother would come, ready to fight.
I no longer enjoy pencilling the floor,
for someone to blacken their feet white!

I no longer call out names and hide,
For my sister to get all the thrashing!
I no longer feed the dog, as in hunger it cried,
While my mom wondered about the cookies vanishing!

I no longer scare the naïve,
Telling them tales of a one eyed monster!
I no longer have a chance to connive,
As to how to kidnap the neighborhood rooster!

I no longer visit the temple,
Where we sang to the glory of God!
I no longer help people in ways simple,
Which would carry along a great applaud!

I no longer steal gooseberries from the garden,
That would leave the gardener all hyper!
I no longer go back and ask for pardon,
When we’d break the cranky old man’s wiper!

I no longer ‘live life’, I realize.
I barely exist as of now.
I wish I could go back to my childhood,
For, then I seem to have ‘rocked’ the world somehow!

THE COMM"UNION"

The silence was deafening...
His eyes had caught
those of hers.
A battle he'd faught,for years,
was now won...
They felt stranded,
in the vanishing crowd...
Unarmed that they were,
thoughts began to stir,
as they felt the ground
underneath them retire...
The world ceased.
The sounds went mute.
The watchful eyes around,
for an instant went blind...
She felt a part of him,
run across to reach out,
to what is rightfully hers,
or so she loved to feel.
He too felt the spark,
of pain,that neat joy...
They united...
beyond sight,
beyond touch,
beyond words...
They smiled in assurance
to re-enter this land,
where they are but strangers,
strangers stitched in silence...
They lived in killing masks,
awaiting the crossing time;
for they know for sure,
It was a union,
beyond sight,
beyond touch,
beyond words...