yinglis pyapers yanyvan??

A blend of perfect pain and rolling comedy, were the gifts my “valuation” work presented to me. No, I mean REAL fun at times when papers having excruciatingly innovative ideas to sell for menial marks! I was surprised at the amount of grammar the chicks knew…Don’t say “Look who’s talking!!” coz in “official English” I speak the tongue just as well as I speak the “unofficial English”. Anyways, as I was saying, the gals had me pounding the floor with laughter and at the same time had me wondering about this revelation…
While things like- “whose book is this?-it is my’s “ and “ she didn’t came” and “I sawed her childrens” and “you’ve got nice hairs” are as common as “suicide is a sin…aathmahathyaa mahapapamu” board all along tank bund,these came as a breath of fresh pungent air!
So,here go those few short-listed errata of highly talented damsels in doom:

#Aunt Jane refused to get layed/laid on the bed that Jack owed her…
(that is-Aunt Jane refused to lie down on the bed which Still Jack doesn’t own completely)
#A goat comes into the garden and chews down the cherry tree!!
(a sapling for god’s sake!!)
#After two years the tree grew above Rakesh!!
(The tree grew taller than Rakesh, is what she meant. Preposterous
prepositions!!!)
#The tree became Rakesh like…
(again the same sentence, indicating an enormous scientific development!!)
#As he kept the knife at his throght,he got aroused…
(ok…one-no knife in the actual poem.two-it’s throat.three-he got curious…gawwwwwwwwwwwd!!!!!!!)
#While committing suicide(psst….WHILE committing),he got curious to peep into the talisman!!
(before, just before, a little before honey??)
# The Talisman gave the Talisman a Talisman…
(ah haan??so what I had to understand is-The palmist gave the young man a Talisman…heights of egalitarianism)
#In Shakespreare’s ‘All the world’s a Stage’, in the first stage, the man who is a baby is an infant.
(huh??so,that’s like a pleonasm??iteration??re-iteration??crass????)
#That’s why I sent a plane clothed man.
( O.Henry’s ‘After twenty years’…script change.A fancy dress fiesta..how about “a man in civil clothes”)
#Ask her questions about what’s happening in periods.
(Class room hours, love…or just plain “keep asking her questions about what’s being taught in class”…economy of words leading to cheap drags!)
#The Silky Bob,wondering about his thing (??) thought if Jimmy Wells would have made even half of it.
(????????????... The story-After twenty years leaves n scope for ‘huh??s’ and substitutes the word ‘thing’ with ‘wealth’)
#A.P.J.Kalam visited Prof.Iyengar’s senatory celebrations.
(I’ll get back to you in a while,sweets)
#Savithri Naidu is the ‘night angel’ of India…
(change of name with a controversial title bestowed…blame me not! All Hindu names sharing the same first letter are substitutable)
#Goodmorning Sir,This is my mother Mrs.XXX
(couldn’t you cook up a better name dove???atleast a different letter???)
#Gandhi-An ordinary man with an extra ordinary thing.
(I kind of am not comfortable with ‘thing’…atleast in such sentences…what she wanted to give was-an extra ordinary strength…ok!!??!!)
#He asked people to do it(?) only after he had done it(?).
(again referring to Gandhi’s principle of not asking people to do things that he himself couldn’t do…hmm…)
#Never Never Nest deals with a couple that wants to install a baby.
(install is not the verb form of installment!!!! stick to ‘buy in installments’.)
#The grass woman cutted the cherry seed into half.
(abba?? grass woman?? cutted?? cherry seed??...)
#He was physically string.
(missed out on a few letters??striKIng may be??)
#The medical showroom was enlightened with lights.
(What an enlightenment! I sure am getting close to that!)
#Jimmy Wells was petrolling the streets.
(O. Henry could kill you for that. Wells was a sincere cop patrolling(A not E!!) the streets.)

While these were all highlights of the prolonged pain, the following are the ones I have gotten used to now…
*various forms of the word ‘sour’
soar, sawar, saar, sore, souar…
*various forms for the phrase “gardener (woman)”
Grass cutter woman, grass chopper (heights!!),woman chopper, cutter lady… *various forms of the word ‘centenary’
Sanetary,cenestal,century(!!!!!),senestary,scentry…
**The dregs of pain…
buyed,cutted,piyano,feeled,felted,notty(naughty),cotted (caughted=caught), Avul Pakir Jainullabdin Abdul Kalam AZAD!!!!!!!!!!

And none (NONE) of these are anywhere close to exaggeration or fabrication. I wish it were, but sadly these are genuine errors I was in direct contact with…and I swear I have the least idea of what schools are up to…Thank whatever I, at least, ‘know and understand’ that these are errors! I am sure the gals don’t even realize it…hmm…may be I should get rid of the little corrupt English of mine as well, lest I end up on someone else’s blog…phew!!