ma-I had to.im sorry.

I find it relieving now,dat i wept incessantly last night.well...why am i mentioning it?because i believe i ought to share the fact with the world that mother's aren't just what you believe they are-someone who cooks,cribs and comforts...and you'll know why i'm saying this very shortly...
So,yesterday was a beautiful day, here, in hyderabad, as it has been, for almost a fortnight now.But I must confess, i haven't been making best use of the incredible weather, except for everyday evening pool trips.coming back to 'yesterday', tanvi, a dear friend of mine, wished to go to shopping for college wear in the evening.And dutiful and jobless buddy that i am, i readily accepted to go along.the plan was that, she and trishula would come near mahavir hospital and i would meet them there, once i receive a "leave-at-once" call from tanvi.i waited for 15 minutes and when i didn't get any call, i called her and she says they were already on the way-which implies i had to leave at once so i didn't keep them waiting for long.normally i would have walked to mahavir,since it is about an 10 minute walk from my place.but, i was late, for no fault of mine, and i HAD to take an auto.There was an auto waiting right across the gate,but just then, another autowallah came right in front of me.And i chose the closer auto, feeling bad for the auto guy who was waitin across.this is what happened next:
He:(lifts eyebrows)
I: (with a dry n "duhh" expression) mahavir.
He:("hop-in" kind of an eyebrow lift) n turns the meter on.
i must add, at this juncture, that i was holding a bag full of clothes in my right hand.And despite myself,my left hand reached out for the rod that runs parallel to the meter.tttttssssssssssssskkkk!!!!!!!!A sudden abnormal feeling,that all the senses in your body are rushing to your left hand...running through the fingers...and in an instant i realise that the sensation is that of a burn.I was by then settled in the auto(i dont know when that happened!), i look at the palm side of my left hand and see that all my fingers are charred and a wax-like layer is all over my ring finger.the conversation continues like this:
I:kya hai auto???????????
He:kya hua amma?
I:haath jal gaya!!!!!!????!!!!(n i murmer something,i don't remember what)
He:very dumbassly, takes his auto-wallah uniform off, and gives it to me.
I:dirty, irritated, painful look."merko kaiku dere?utta garam kaiku hai aapka auto??????
(i swear this could easily qualify as the "most-stoopid-conversation" of my life entiere!)He: sorry amma!abbich welding karaake aarum........
(this is how my brain was until i got off the auto:................................................)
I don't quite remember why i didnt grab his head and put his cheek to the burning rod.I was just so much in pain to let the revengeful side of me take control.I was shocked at his extreme display of apathy and nonchalance.or atleast i could have said "yeh lo bhai" while paying him and grabbed his hand and make him feel something hot-the freaking rod!nothing occured to me then, as i was lost in "i think i know why this happened"'ish thoughts.

After an hour of shopping,i met sham (cousin) en route and she and ammi (big mom) took me to the doctor.one injection.lots of curses showered on the auto guy.a couple of tablets.a handful of blisters and a heartful of regret.
Regret because this could have been avoided.And it was because of this exhausting and painful guilt that i cried all of last night.silently-but cried my heart out.I did learn my lesson last time, when i had my first ever accident.I knew why it had happened.And i know why this happened as well.I openly lied to ma.I amn't blaming mom for what happened.I am merely stating the fact that, when a trust is broken, you pay for it someway or the other,sooner or later.And yet, I lied.despite the fact that I knew I shouldn't.I had my reasons.And stubborn that i may sound, i still believe that was the only option i was left with,unless i chose to let things get more nasty.I apologised to mom.And last night all those tears were just to tell her that i was forced to tell her the lie.but, i feel the lie is worth this burn.
I always make sure i am honest as much as possible.specially to the closest of people (with mom topping the list).But, i just want to make it clear that if I chose to hide the truth, its only because i had to.Im sorry, ma.I don't think i will need more lessons.And just like the last time(the accident-more popular as "the fall"), even this payment proved short-lived.Then, with the impact that i fell off the bike, i could have sprained my back, but nothing grave happened.And now, when the doctor presumed it would take about a week for the blisters to break, it is already much better.just one major blister and all the others already flat.that is again because of mother's sympathy i'd like to believe.
It always happens.Its just nature's way of telling you that mother's are much more than cooks,cribbers and comforters.i guess when they earn the right to punish you,when their trust is mercilessly broken.I dont wish to sound paulo coelho'ish or watever!i am just confessing and sharing.MOM-i understand.I will take care now on.love you.