Monday, May 29, 2006

Blissful Thoughtlessness...

"thoughtlessness is unviable: is what is often heard,
but thoughtless is all i choose to be,to you be it absurd.
It's comforting;with no chaos and no clash of vision,
more so when your life entire,dangles on 'the' decision.

confident goals inviting me,with open arms and cheer,
hopeful eyes assuring me-there's no place for fear...
yet, is my life, in all good sense, worth only 'a' chance?
be if yes the answer, wouldn't i but live in a trance?

With people's pouring opinions and inter-refuting views,
my blankness only heightens & farther i move from the hues,
Hues relating to my future & those dictating my life...
Is this how you live too?in a commotion within you, so rife?

When a gently killing monotony, growing eternally in you,
and eager are you no more, to start your life anew...
when dreams you have none, and time is running short...
its when you have it all, yet are happy with naught.

I pray not for such a life, I have no space for perfection,
I'd rather live by chance, than go by your instruction...
I want not my decision,to take me far from "me"...
"four-walls' fail to allure me, 'tis "the world" i wish to see...

So quit pushing me, afar from this thotless state,
for it is amidst a riot,that my thoughts will finally mate,
and bless me with an answer,the 'one' i seem to miss...
where in lies my future?where would i find my bliss?

Well, for all those who have opined and still do that i have "wasted" a year doing "nothing"...good news-Im wasting three more years!!!Not that you would agree with me, not even that i care!ok...less of sarcasm/cynicism and more of information...i have applied to Francis (...i knw...) and submitted forms for 3 combos...
*history/eng literature/political science
*mass communications/english literature/political science
*economics/english literature/political science
The trouble is that, each of these three combos appeals to a different side of me...in the sense that pol sci n litt are both essential for me and hence they are decided.But the third and undecided (yet...)optional "seems" to be THE BIG THING...
History is something i WANT to learn-only and simply because it fascinates me.and anyone who is a little frank and a little more concerned will advise me against it...but then thats that.i would love to study history...I know its not a "lucrative" optional, but thats not the be all and end all, right??
Mass comm is "apparently" something that is made for me.i mean, i, personally, am not too sure if i would like to sit for two years learning about the nuances of a trade that i might or might not take up...and actually getting to do some solid ground work only in the third year as a compensation for 2 years of theoritical &*$#..
Eco, on the third hand, happens to be my firsst love.i can take another step ahead and justify this by bringing to light the fact that i also happened to top college in eco wid 93%...and its plain evident that when i score well in something, its ONLY because my interest in it.
i really really enjoy eco... yet history entices me coz its something i have not really learnt yet...and mass comm would rather be an easy way out if i choose to take up my language courses seriously (which is most likely to happen)...
and hence i think thoughlessness (when it comes to such decisions) is not cowardice,but plain blissssss....and so,people, kindly add to the pandemodium and help me sort things out (which i think is almost done....almost...).last date for payment of fee-2nd june.comment pronto!

2 Comments:

Blogger Gandaragolaka said...

forgive a measly stupid engineer asking this... but do you actually need to 'study' History?

What would they tell you that you cannot know by reading books? Not that they would have the kind of teaching staff that you would expect.

Well, it may be you would be able to talk in that mumbo-jumbo of a qualified historian and explain away the differences in the architectural styles of the badami chalukyas and the pallavas, and that pallavas are actually pahlavis of Iran, but you might miss the entire broader perspective of why actually you took up history.

Its better you take one of the other two, and read. history, take it up as a hobby... just concentrate on your favorite time-period and drill-away through the books and websites. Look! They are already waiting for you.

5:56 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Aakarsh said...

What can i say! i wouldnt suggest anything..u have already made ur choices...Now,put aside these acads, for they will be a part of your routine..Think abt LIFE..and what you want to do tih it..

1:25 AM, June 09, 2006  

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